Maybe God IS All-Powerful
Good Morning, friends.
I gave up on God’s “omnipotence” (a fancy seminary word for “all-powerful”) about 8 years ago after my wife and I had a miscarriage. I remember the night all too well. It was hearbreaking and agonizing and full of all sorts of emotions.
Anger.
Sadness.
Confusion.
Grief - profound, deep grief.
When we were leaving the hospital I went out to get the car and pull it around to the entrance so I could pick up my wife and I remember getting in the car and smashing the steering wheel and (literally) screaming at God.
“How could you allow this to happen? What kind of MONSTER let’s a baby die? What else do I need to do to make you happy? I went to a Private Christian School. I went to Bible College. I went to Seminary. I’ve spent my ENTIRE LIFE serving you, leading people to you - pastor, youth pastor, Sunday School teacher, volunteer, missions trips, THOUSANDS of dollars on the best ministry education money can buy. And this is the thanks I get? An all-powerful God who let our baby die? You let other babies be born into horrendous situations - and yet you decided to take our baby from us? I want nothing to do with you. I’m done.”
Looking back on it, this was the beginning of my “deconstruction” - a season of life where I would rethink everything I was ever taught about God and faith and the Bible and heaven and hell and … all the things.
But this “omnipotence of God” or this “all-powerful-nature of God” is one of the things I’ve returned to again and againto wrestle with and rethink.
Because.
How can God be “all-loving” and also “all-powerful” - right? The 2 don’t fit together when you consider that …
God could stop hurricanes from demolishing entire cities, but doesn’t.
God could stop people from being raped, but doesn’t.
God could stop children from being bombed, but doesn’t.
Do you see what I mean?
If God could stop such horrors, but doesn’t … then God isn’t all-loving.
BUT.
If God is full of love for the victims of these situations and can’t step in to save them … then God isn’t all-powerful.
And that makes me feel sad, to be honest. I grew up with this idea that God was BOTH of these things and nothing could change my mind. Why? Because “the Bible told me so” - I had my mountain of Bible verses to “prove” that God was both all loving AND all powerful and even if someone told me that those things couldn’t possibly co-exist, I …
Buckled down on my faith.
Said my verses louder.
And.
White-knuckled everything I was taught by pastors, teachers, professors - people who knew more than me.
“Of course God is BOTH of these things - you just need to have more faith”, I’d say.
But then life happened, you know? We had the miscarriage and I also experienced countless other dead ends, losses, broken dreams, and moments of intense heartbreak … and all of a sudden.
I don’t know.
But the things I was taught that made sense in my head no longer made sense in the real world and so I began to loosen my grip on things like God’s omipotence and open myself up to other ways of viewing/thinking about God.
“Maybe God isn’t all powerful.”
“Maybe God can’t really ‘answer’ my prayers.”
“Maybe God is much different than I thought.”
And now?
8-ish years later?
Well. I’m learning to “hold my beliefs loosely” as I (once again) revisit and open myself up to the idea of God’s “all-powerfulness” - even if it it might end up looking drastically different than how I used to understand it.
Yes.
I’m learning that I can still hold on to ideas about God from my youth, but hold them loosely - giving them the freedom to evolve beyond what they meant to me when I was younger.
Here’s what this is looking like.
I’m reading a book by Father Gregory Boyle called “Cherished Belonging” and early on he says this thing about God that I haven’t been able to shake …
This power does not reside in God’s rescue of us nor in God’s choosing to change outcomes; rather, Gods’ power is found in the sustaining love that is always extended out way and accompanies us. Not a God who intervenes but who who energies us to act … the power is in the loving.
I love this.
And it makes sense. Doesn’t it? It take a lot of power to love EVERYone, no strings attached.
As an example, look no further than the current landscape of our world, narrowed down to the United States during this election / post-election season.
Everybody is fighting.
Everybody is yelling.
Some are celebrating.
Many are fearing for their wellbeing and lives (and rightly so).
Sigh.
The air is filled with anomisity and judgment and hatred and fear … and loving people who are on “the other side” from us is challenging, difficult, and exhausting work - exhausting because it takes a lot of energy, a lot of strength, and a lot of internal power to extend loving thoughts to those we might consider to be enemies.
Yet.
This is what the Divine does, I think. As Jesus said …
You have heard that it was said, ‘Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be children of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that? And if you greet only your own people, what are you doing more than others? Do not even pagans do that? Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect.
You see, I think God is all-powerful not because God can “do anything”, but because of God’s nature, which is to love - always, no strings attached. As Boyle said, perhaps God’s power doesn’t lie in God’s ability to change the outcome of situations or rescue us from the horrors of life.
BUT.
Maybe God’s power rests in God’s inifinite ability to love and to walk with us through even the hottest fires of this life - no matter what.
This reminds me of my friend Thomas Oord who who wrote a book called “God Can’t” where he highted this very idea - that maybe God CAN’T change the outcomes of situations, but maybe God CAN stick with us no matter what so that we are never alone.
Yes:
Maybe.
God.
Sticks.
With.
Us.
ALWAYS.
And at the end of the day - that’s what I want to be, that’s what I want to be like, that’s what I’m trying (and so often failing) to be like - someone who sticks with people, who sees the good in people.
Yes.
I want to love like that. I long to love like that - to see people with Spirit-filled eyes, to see deep into the souls of people …
Beneath their beliefs.
Beneath their mistakes.
Beneath their hatred.
Beneath their judgments.
Beneath their voting choices.
… where the spark of the Divine rests … just as it rests in all of us.
Like an infant who takes their first wobbling steps in an effort to be like the big people around them, I’m taking wobbling steps towards loving with no strings attached in an effort to be like this Big Divine Being that I believe is all around me and within me.
Because …
I think that’s who I am.
I think that’s who I’m meant to be.
I think that’s how I’m wired to be.
In her book “A Return to Love”, Marianne Williamson says that …
We’re in the business of spreading love. Miracle-workers are not in business only to make money; they’re in business to inject love into the world.
If God is all-loving and all-powerful because of God’s ability to love no matter what, that means I am too. Just as the Divine is in the business of injecting love into the world, so am I.
… Even if I’ve forgotten it - even if I’ve forgotten that this is my purpose.
Because.
Honetly?
I have forgotten - I forget every day.
Like, the other day someone was tailgating me. I was going 65 in a 60mph zone and this person was on my bumper, practically touching my car and pushing me out of the way.
What did I do?
Slow down and let them pass?
Speed up?
Nah.
I did what we used to do back in Jersey - I tapped the brakes and said some unkind words.
And then there are the people who took down the Harris/Waltz sign at the entrance to our neighborhood and replaced it with 5,000 Trump/Vance signs.
What did I do when I saw that?
“Aww, that’s nice. They are so excited for their candidate.”
“Ahhh, it’s politics - not like the signs make a big difference anyways.”
“So childish.”
Nah.
I said, “don’t these morons know it’s illegal to remove these signs? Let’s call the cops. Let’s spraypaint the Trump/Vance signs. What if I dress in black and head down there tonight, do you think anyone will see me? Let’s order a thousand Harris/Waltz signs and block the Trumo signs! What kind of monsters are these people?”
Or how about the time a woman in front of me at Starbucks called the Barista fat and stupid and made her cry?
(Yes, that really happened - fat, and stupid, and the barista cried.)
“You shouldn’t say that m’am, that’s not very kind.”
“Wow, that was uncalled for.”
“Didn’t your mom ever teach you that if you don’t have anything nice to say to not say anything at all?”
Nah.
I let this woman have it. Like, REALLY let her have it. And then she let me have it. And then we went back and forth. And then people gathered around to watch. And then? I matched her unkind words with more unkind words and … it was wild.
What I’m saying is that I forget everyday that I’m an agent of love, that I’m in the business of injecting love into the world. The worries and problems and concerns and stuff of this life and this world - it sticks to me, it weighs me down, it lures me into responding and acting in ways that I’m not proud of where I demonize other people, shame those who think differently than me, and behave in ways that don’t really reflect the image of the Divine that (I believe) we’re all created in.
But, hey - I’m remembering.
I’m waking up.
Day by day.
Moment by moment.
Minute by minute.
Interaction by interaction.
… I’m waking up, I’m remembering who I am and whose image I’m made in and what I’ve been put on this earth to do.
And just to state the obvious - injecting the world with love doesn’t mean we turn a blind eye to evil or ignore hatred. It doesn’t mean I stand in line and do nothing while the woman in front of me calls the barista fat and stupid and makes her cry, it doesn’t mean we just nod and smile while our MAGA-Supporting neighbor says that “all the illegals should be deported!”
No.
What it means, though, is that we make a decision to see the human being beneath the unkind words and thoughtless rhetoric and practice wielding our own anger in intentional ways with intentional words.
“M’am, the barista is not fat and stupid. She’s a human being who made a mistake with your drink. I’m sure she’ll make it again for you. Haven’t you ever had a bad day? It seems like you’re having one now.”
OR.
“May I suggest - ‘illegals’ feels like a very demeaning word. Might we can use a different one? And might I ask why you think all undocumented immigrants should be deported when many of those humans are contributing to society in ways you and I would never be able to? Might there be a better way to repair our immigration situation in the country that doesn’t demonize an entire group of people, most of whom are just trying to live?”
Now.
Of course, our love will sometimes be met with hate. And sometimes no matter how much thought and care we put into our responses, those responses will be mowed over, shot down, and met with judgment, anger, hate, etc.
And in those cases?
Boundaries ought to be set, ties might need to be cut, and the hope for discussion can be tossed out the window. We might need to go our separate ways.
But.
I firmly believe.
This doesn’t have to be the case in all (or even many) instances. I think if we meet people with love and we meet them with kindness and we meet them with genuine curiosity where we seek to understand them, their perspective, their responses - I believe we can build bridges (even if they are a bit shaky).
Yes.
I have the hope that we can make a better world.
Because as I said a few posts ago - the election is over and Donald Trump will soon move back into the White House.
BUT.
My neighbor with the Trump flags on his house?
The person in our neighborhood who took down the Harris/Walz signs?
Yeah - they still live here and they aren’t going anywhere over the course of the next 4+ years.
And the lady at Starbucks? She’s come back in 2 or 3 times since we got into it. AND. From what I heard from that Barista - she was just as nasty, if not more nasty.
And the tailgaters? I get tailgated on the long, long road leading up to our house at least 10 times a week.
Yeah.
And so I’d rather figure out a way to live in community, to build bridges with people who think differently than me, to be a kind, loving, compassionate presence in the midst of anger, hatred, judgment, etc. than fight, judge, shame, and ignore those around me who don’t vote like me, think like me, drive like me, or treat others like I try to treat others.
As one friend recently said to me, may we embrace a love that accepts what is without being OK with what is and acts accordingly.
In fact, here’s her book. She’ll be on the show next Spring - “And: The Restorative Power of Love in an Either/Or World” by Felicia Morrell.
Here’s my prayer for me in these days …
“All-Powerful God - help me to love like you, to love like I have been created to love. Amen.”
Glenn || PATREON / ART STUDIO