Don't Invalidate My Experience

About a year ago a friend from my former Evangelical Tribe messaged me on Facebook and told me that my time out in the wilderness has been cute, but that it's time for me to come back to the church and join God in what he's doing. My friend told me that my experience in the church doesn't represent the church very well and that the theology I was taught (although terrible) also doesn't represent the church very well.

"The Church", he said, "is bigger than your experience and you need to come back to it. You have enough education to know that the way you speak of the Church doesn't represent the larger Church very well." He then went on to tell me about all the positive experiences he's had in his church and the experiences he had growing up that were nothing like my experiences and made me feel like his experiences were the norm whereas my experiences were an exaggerated anomaly. 

I hopped onto the blog today to tell you something I shared on Facebook a few weeks ago, and I want to share it here because I think it's really, really important - just because someone's religious experience is different than yours, that doesn't invalidate your experience. In other words, just because a friend's religious garden is filled memories of fragrant roses, that doesn't invalidate the terrible nightmares that fill yours. 

Look.

I don't have much to say today other than to loudly state the fact that your experiences are important and the world needs your voice to speak of them so that other people who have had similar experiences don't feel alone and crazy. Please do not stop talking about your story because that story and the way you tell it makes other people from your former tribe feel uncomfortable. If you felt uncomfortable sitting through church services, Bible studies, chapel services, Bible classes, etc, etc, etc while you were showered with toxic theology, who cares if your story makes somebody else feel uncomfortable. Excuse my language, but f*ck them. 

Your story is important and I, for one, am here to listen.

Much love.