Reframing the Narrative

I recently spoke to Scott Erickson for the podcast and he wrote a book called "Say Yes: Discovering the Surprising Live Beyond the Death of a Dream". It' s a wonderful book that you should read ASAP, and in the book he has this section where he talks about "reframing" the narratives we have about ourselves in our heads.

For instance.

I tend to be very hard on myself. As any creative person will tell you (or any person, for that matter) - "we are our own worst critics". And what I mean by that is that you don't need to tell me what I've done wrong because chances are pretty good that since the moment I've done the wrong thing, I've been telling myself how wrong and stupid it was it was over and over and over and over again.

A few months ago I made an image for Bart Ehrman's social media platforms. If you've been following me on my own social media pages you might remember that I mentioned he has a small team of volunteers that I'm fortunate enough to be on and so one of those volunteers posts stuff to his Facebook pages, Twitter account, etc. and I make 3-4 graphics for those posts every week.

Anyways.

One week I was in a rush. I don't remember what was happening, but in the moment I was trying to get these images done I was also texting someone, juggling 30 things in my head, walking the dogs, and realizing that 5:00PM was quickly approaching when it would be time for me and Dana to shift gears and get dinner ready while a hungry toddler tore through the house like the Tasmanian Devil.

I was doing the images while walking the dogs because I can make the images on my phone (which is a blessing and a curse) and I've gotten good enough at it where I can do pretty much the same things on my phone that I can do on my computer. 

This time, though, something didn't format correctly on the phone and so the text reverted back to a previous file that had spelling errors in it. I didn't recognize it (not only because I was in a rush, but because it's harder to pick those things up on the phone than it is on the computer) and I sent it along to the person who posts content to his pages. 

Yup.

That image went up on his Facebook pages, Twitter pages, etc, etc, etc.

NOW.

It if was my page, who cares. I just go in, take it down, and put up a new one and my 1,000 or so followers probably wouldn't even notice.

Bart's pages, though, get traffic in the 100,000's and so immediately people began to comment on this post about the spelling errors and when I went to look at the post to see the feedback it was getting ... OMG. I was mortified.

"I'm such an idiot", I said to myself.

"I should have never quit my job at Apple to do this."

"What a moron."

"I can't do anything right."

"I'll never be able to do this podcasting and social media stuff on a full-time basis."

"Who am I kidding? I have no right to be doing this stuff for people."

On and on the internal criticism went like a wrecking ball to my heart, spinning a wild and out of control narrative about how dumb I am, how stupid I am, and how I'll never ever be able to make this work ... never be a "creator" of content (podcasts, graphics, etc.) that people respect.

Has this ever happened to you?

The narrative, I mean.

Has it ever gotten so out of control and flown off the tracks so fast that you had trouble reeling yourself back in?

In his book Scott talks about reframing the narrative, about intentionally pausing and instead of preaching statements of finality to ourselves ...

"I'll never amount to ..."

"I'll never be able to ..."

"I'm not ..."

... to (instead) tell ourselves, "this might not have worked out like I wanted it it, but that's OK because I'm on my way."

Yes.

Instead of "I'll never be able to ..." we can say "I'm on my way".

Right?

"I'm on my way to being a great podcaster."

"I'm on my way to being a great designed."

"I'm on my way to being a great social media manager."

"I'm on my way to being a great mechanic."

"I'm on my way to being a great cook."

"I'm on my way to being a great parent."

"I'm on my way to being a great partner."

... I'm on my way.

Recognizing that we're on our way takes off the pressure of having to have arrived, right? It recognizes that we're on a journey and that the journey is long and hard and difficult and filled with lots of highs and even more lows and just because we spend some time in the valley flat on our face doesn't mean we won't get back up tomorrow and take some more steps forward.

"I'm on my way."

What narratives do you need to reframe these days about your own life? The goal isn't perfection, my friends. The goal is simply to be on the way.

Hm.

And on that note, perhaps that's why Jesus called himself "The Way" ... because The Christ walks with us while we're on our way - even when we feel most alone and most like a giant screw up ... we are never, ever alone.

Much love,

Glenn Siepert