Turning the Page on 2023

A New Year is pretty much here. 2023 was a heavy one for me and my family - it involved lots of pain and heartache as things were ripped from my hands long, long before I was ready to let them go.

And so as I look to 2024, I wonder what will be and I wonder what awaits - what highs and lows and smiles and tears … what looms over the horizon?

I usually sit down at the start of a New Year with plans and goals and agendas and things I want to do and accomplish and create and strive for - the “creative person” in my likes to have a rough plan of sorts to map or chart out the year ahead; but, this year? I don’t know. That all seems quite tiresome to me and so I’m going into the New Year with a very simple approach …

I want to do less.

I want to be more.

Do less? I’ll still do the things I do, of course - the podcast, the social media things, I love all of that; but I’m going to stop saying “YES” to everything that comes my way. I’ve already started to practice that in 2023 as a way of making space for my grief, but it’s something I’ll continue to do even more so in the New Year.

And so if you approach me and invite me onto your podcast or to be part of your virtual course or to join your social media team or to be part of this group or that group or hop on this Zoom call or that Skype call, etc. and I happen to say “NO” or “I can’t” or “now’s not the best time” …

It’s not because I don’t want to.

Or because I don’t appreciate the offer.

Or because I don’t see the goodness of what you’re doing in the world.

OR because I don’t appreciate that you’d want me to be part of the thing you’re creating.

… Not at all; instead, it’s just that I need to do less things.

One of the things I’m discovering about grief is that although you move on after the day your world ended, the day …

You lost your loved one.

Your marriage ended.

You were fired from your job.

Your dream died.

… Even though you move on, you don’t move on FROM the grief, but WITH the grief.

Right?

In other words, I will never move on FROM the grief of losing my dad, but I will learn to move on WITH the grief of losing my dad - the grief will always be a part of me, it will always be with me, and so I will always have to be mindful of creating space for it to exist in my world … something it can’t do if I keep filling every square inch of my days with more and more things to do.

I also want to do less figuring things out. Growing up as an Evangelical, I was obsessed with finding answers about God and faith and the Bible and all the things. I had to have a stack of Bible verses to defend my every idea about every question that could possibly be posed at me.

Heaven.

Hell.

The cross.

End Times.

Inerrancy.

… I spent hours upon hours buried in Systematic Theology books, Apologetics books, commentaries, etc. so that I could be prepared with answers for whatever questions might come my way.

And these days?

Even though I don’t identify with even 99.9% of the beliefs I once studied so hard to defend, I’ve hung on to my obsession with figuring things out, finding out the answers, and being ready to answer people’s questions.

And so these days, I find myself burying my head in books about “interconnectedness” and “the unity of all things” and “tarot” and “astrology” and “gnosticism” and “Biblical history” and “Jesus” and every other topic that captures my curiosity - I dig and dig and dig and dig and dig until my brain is swimming in so much information that I don’t know what to do with it and … it’s exhausting.

And then.

Oh my goodness, AND THEN.

And then I go online and I see people speaking out AGAINST these things …

Against tarot.

Against astrology.

Against deconstruction.

Against gnosticism.

… spreading misinformation about all the things I’m developing new passions for and I engage in fiery discussions that turn into arguments and debates and name-calling that feel very much like the theological debates I’d go looking for as an Evangelical, where I’d pull out my bag of Bible verses to lob at my (perceived) enemies in an effort to prove them wrong.

Sigh.

Yeah, I need a break from ALL of that - I need to do less things and I need to do less figuring things out AND I need to do less arguing about, talking about, defending of the things I’m trying to figure out.

And instead - I just want to be.

Be?

I want to be more present in the BIG and SMALL moments of my days.

I want to be more present with my evolving beliefs - without feeling the need to explain them.

I want to be in communion with my inner self, my intuitive voice.

I want to be more aware of my needs.

I want to be more at peace with where I’m at in my life.

I want to be more comfortable with not having all the answers.

I want to be more loving towards myself.

I want to be more kind to my inner child.

I want to be more rested.

To help me with this, I was gifted a membership to Dr. Nicole LePera’s “Self Healers Circle”, which is a virtual group of people from around the world who are working towards growing and becoming more authentic versions of themselves. I also have a stack of books that I want to read, just to read, to “be with” - not for a podcast or a blog or an interview, but for me. And I’ll be engaging in more artistic work this year as Dana and Jordan bought me a new sketch pad for Christmas along with some markers, colored pencils, and cartooning books - all tools I used to work with everyday when I was a child. I’ll be watching more Yankee games this year than I’ve made time to watch in a long time, and I’ll be breaking out my Yankee jerseys to wear throughout the Summer as I root for my favorite players and cook hot dogs on the grill for game days. I’ll be reflecting and meditating on tarot cards and Bible stories. I’ll be taking naps, I’ll be riding my skateboard, I’ll be playing outside with Jordan, I’ll be spending time in the garden and the lawn, and I’ll be … being.

Yes - less doing, more being … that’s really the only thought I have going into 2024.

All that to say - thanks for being with me on the journey of 2023. It was a hard year and so many of you have reached out to wish our family well and send along your love, and we are forever grateful.

Do you have any goals for 2024? Plans? Mindsets? I’d love to hear what’s stirring in your heart these days.

Much love,

Glenn Siepert