It's Not Always About Changing
In Luke 18 Jesus told the parable of a Pharisee and a Tax Collector who both went to the Temple to pray.
The Pharisee, says Jesus, stood at the altar and and prayed, “God thank you that I’m not like thieves and adulterers and this tax collector.”
In other words, “I’m so great, you’re lucky to have me.”
The Tax Collector, on the other hand, stood far off, looked at the ground, beat his chest, and cried out, “God, be merciful to me, a sinner.”
In other words, “There’s nothing I can do to make myself clean outside of your mercy and grace.”
Jesus then said that the Tax Collector went home justified whereas the Pharisee did not.
Tax Collectors were pretty slimy people, which is what makes this parable so ironic. Some of the Pharisees were nasty and cruel people, but (for the most part) they were just people who were trying to make the Torah and the Law of Moses applicable to all people and within everyone’s reach. And so in Jesus’ parable the roles are reversed.
The slimy Tax Collector asks for mercy that he knows he doesn’t deserve.
The Pharisee talks about all the reasons why he thinks he deserves mercy.
The Tax Collector, in the end, went home justified.
BUT.
Here’s the interesting thing: we’re never told that the Tax Collector changed his slimy ways, right? Tax Collectors were known for taking more than what the Empire required for tax payment and then keeping the rest for themselves. And so if the government took 90% (which some scholars say was the case in certain periods of time), the tax collector would collect 98% and then keep the 8% for himself.
Slimy.
Terrible.
Horrible.
Rotten.
And so they were hated and despised. This Tax Collector was obviously aware of what a terrible human he was and so he asked for God’s mercy and received it.
But:
Did he change?
Did he quit his job?
Did he return the money he scammed people out of?
Did he do what Zacchaeus the Tax Collector did in a later story and pay back everything he stole and then some?
We’re not told and instead, we’re left to wonder. And I think that’s the point - the point isn’t whether the Tax Collector repented of his ways and changed and started to go to church and tithe and believe a bunch of doctrines; rather, the point is that the Tax Collector realized that he had no power within himself to justify himself before the Divine.
He needed mercy.
He needed grace.
He was aware how much he fell short.
He was aware that his life was filled with some slimy stuff.
And Jesus said that when he asked, he received. And so maybe the point isn’t always about going before God, asking for mercy, and working hard to make changes to our lives. Maybe sometimes it’s just about cultivating an awareness of our lack of perfection, becoming more aware of the ways in which we don’t have it all together, and developing a posture of receiving grace and mercy into our lives.
And maybe the more we do this.
And the more we live like this.
And the more we cultivate this awareness and develop that posture.
Well.
Maybe that’s what will ultimately bring about some life change even if that change doesn’t come right away.
Yeah: maybe it’s not always about changing, but about being aware - aware of our need for grace, and aware of the Divine’s willingness to freely give it.
Much love to you today.
Open our eyes, Spirit, to be aware,