(Re)Thinking Everything - Excerpt

My book (Re)Thinking Everything released on Amazon YESTERDAY.  Did you order it yet?  

HERE’S THE LINK! - YES, RIGHT HERE.

AND.

Here's a sneak peak at a piece from chapter 2, My Gay Friends.  

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Over the next 2 years it became evident to me that I wasn’t cut out for pastoring a church, especially that one.  It’s not that I couldn’t do it or that I felt like I needed more training or anything like that.

It’s just that … I didn’t like it.  At all.

I mean, there were some things that I enjoyed.  I loved preaching and teaching.  I could sit in front of my computer and books all day, every day and prepare sermons and Bible studies.  Even writing this book – it feels like a gigantic sermon, and I love that.  And I looked forward to meeting with people at the diner down the street and hearing their stories and problems and worries and fears, talking to them about God and faith and what it all means.

BUT.

I hated the conversations like I had in my office the morning before my first time serving communion and I couldn’t stand the elder meetings and the board meetings and the denominational meetings where we’d talk about stuff that didn’t really matter to me or stuff that would only end up creating more divisions in an already divided world.

“The denomination is going to vote on same-sex marriage tonight, we need you to be present at the meeting and take a stand against it because this is a stance that our church is known for and will always be known for.”

Why?  Why do we need to do this?  Why do I need to do this?

“We can’t have a Christmas tree in the sanctuary up in the pulpit area, it will distract from the true Word of God.”

Oh.  But we can have an American flag up there?  Right next to the pulpit?  That’s OK, but a Christmas Tree isn’t?

(The Christmas tree conversation came up in an elder meeting and was debated until 1AM, by the way – ONE O’CLOCK IN THE MORNING.)

“What will we do if someone comes to the church dressed inappropriately?”

What will we do?  Um, y’all have a sign hanging outside that literally says, “Come As You Are” and so I would think we’d honor that?

And everyone had an opinion about everything I did and every single move I made. 

“Why did he wear that tie?”

“Why isn’t he married yet?”

“I’m not sure I agree with that sermon.”

“He’s so young, maybe he needs to go and study some more.”

“Our old pastor didn’t teach that Bible story that way.”

“He doesn’t understand what life is like in the real world.”

“He’s so naïve.”

“OMG he didn’t open the service on Veteran’s Day by praying for our Veterans.”

“I sure hope you vote Republican.”

“You can’t disagree with an elder on a theological issue in front of the adult Sunday School class.”

“I can’t believe you said what you said in the pulpit today – I thought about coming up there, yanking you out, and dragging you back to your office.”

(YES, a church elder said that to me.)

One time I preached about the idea of free will and when I headed back to my office after church to take off my tie and get to coffee hour, someone was waiting for me in my office with a book and suggested I take the time to read it because I was clearly misinformed on the topic.

What?

So many things and I just couldn’t do it anymore and I remember telling my wife (who was my fiancé at the time) and my mom and various mentors in my life that I had to get out of there before I exploded.  The pressure to conform and to make myself care about things I didn’t care about and to stand up in a pulpit and say that I believed stuff that I didn’t … it was all too much to bear.  

And so I left.

I finished out my contract and applied for a job at Apple, Inc. where I worked for the next 10 ½ years.

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Glenn || PATREON / BUY ME A COFFEE