The Trinity

I've been reflecting on some of the doctrines that were drilled into my head as a kid. I went to a Private Christian School starting in the 4th grade and so I was in a world where things like ...

Hell.

The Rapture.

End Times.

Baptism.

Trinity.

Atonement.

Etc.

... Were regular parts of my vocabulary.  We had Bible class every day, special chapel services on Thursday, church and Sunday School on Sundays, AND Vacation Bible School during the Summer.  AND.  It was all in an Evangelical context, AND on the same "campus".

Campus?

Yes, campus.

What I mean by that is that the school, church, Bible school, etc. all took place on the same property and were part of the same system ... AND there was also a book store on the property, which ONLY carried books that the pastors and elders of the church approved.

It wasn't a cult, I swear.

(Although it definitely sounds like it. *cringe*)

And so, anyways, it was in this world where terms like "Rapture" and "End Times" and "Baptism" and the like became a part of my vocabulary.  And of all the terms that were thrown at me on a regular basis, the term "Trinity" was held up as one of the most important ones.

Yes, "the Trinity" ...

God the FATHER.

God the SON.

God the HOLY SPIRIT.

... these 3 figures, we were told, are 3 separate manifestations of the same being.

Following me?

In other words, although God is ONE, God also exists in THREE forms because God the FATHER sent God the SON to earth to endure the cross and then when God the SON rose from the dead he sent God the HOLY SPIRIT to live inside of those who believe the right things about God the SON and say a prayer asking God the SON to come into their hearts.

SO ...

God the HOLY SPIRIT lives inside of us.

When.

AND ONLY WHEN.

We invite God the SON into our hearts.

And believe that he died for our sins in accordance with the will or order of God the FATHER.

AND.

Even though these 3 forms are different, they are the same.  Although they are 3, they are 1.  And although they are 1, they each have a different role or part to play in our lives and in our journey.

The whole idea never made much sense to me, to be perfectly real with you, and that (I was told) was the point.  "After all", my teachers said, "God is not us and we are not God ... God's ways are God's ways and instead of asking questions (which are just an expression of doubt), we need to trust.  We need to believe that all of this is true."

And so "believe", I did. 

I tried to have a relationship with the Father, but since he always seemed distant and somewhat menacing, I felt like I connected more with Jesus (the Son) while feeling oblivious and somewhat nervous about the Holy Spirit who (I was told) could make people speak in tongues, bark like a dog, or do whatever "he" wanted them to do. And as much as I tried to have a relationship with all 3 while only feeling connected to Jesus, I somehow felt connected to all of them anyways because they are (I was told) all the same.

Like I said, I've been thinking about all of this stuff lately and really trying to "take stock" of the files in my head pertaining to the doctrines and theologies of my past and really working to decide what ones I want to keep and what ones I want to throw away.

Yes:

Some I will keep.

AND.

Some I will throw away.

AND.

Some I will even graft in and add.

Hell, for instance, I sent packing.  I hate the idea of hell.  It traumatized me as a kid and although I realize there are many ways to think about hell and many authors and writers and thinkers who have proposed different understandings of it ... I find it useless and hurtful and horrible and so I've let it go.  I no longer believe it.

To hell with hell!

Same with the atonement.  I went to 4 years of Bible College and 7 years of seminary and so I'm aware of the many "theories of atonement", the many ideas that have been proposed throughout history to explain the meaning of Jesus' death and how it made us "one with God".

BUT.

I'm at a place in my journey where I don't believe we were ever NOT one with God and so rather than hold on to a theory of atonement, I've decided that such a theory is doing little more than taking up space in my heart and mind, forcing me to think about things and ideas that I no longer believe.

And I've grafted in other things like ...

Rosary Beads.

Mediation.

Some Buddhist practices.

Tarot Cards.

... And more. These are things that never had a place in my life before, but now they do and I feel like they've made me a better or stronger or more faithful follower of Christ.

The Trinity, though. 

I don't know.

... I find it mysteriously interesting and so rather than toss it away, I've decided to let it linger a bit.  I've turned the back burner of my mind down to a low heat, tossed it in a pot, and am letting it simmer back there until I have a better sense of what to do with it.  It doesn't really hold a "prominent place" in my theology anymore, nor do I think it's a theology that everyone needs to uphold as magnificent and amazing.

It's not a main course on the table.

It's not something coming out for dessert.

It's just, there ... simmering on the back of the stove ... giving an aroma and an inviting smell to my thoughts about God and the Divine and faith and all of the things. 

Yeah.

I don't know why, but it stirs something up in me that feels good and so I've kept it around - I've given it permission to sit at the table and feast with me.

And I'm glad I did because the other day I had this thought that maybe the Trinity and maybe a lot of the doctrines and theologies of Christianity (and other religions, mind you - Judaism, Islam, etc.) ... maybe we've got them all wrong.  Because instead of them being a massive flex of our egos, telling us things that we need to believe in order to be Christians and go to heaven when we die ... maybe they are just pointing to things that are actually much, much bigger than themselves.

In other words, maybe the Trinity is pointing to an idea or a Truth that is much bigger than the Trinity.

Every night I tell Jordan that ...

God.

Heaven.

Love.

... these things are all around her and with her, so much so that she's never, ever alone.

AND.

It dawned on me - isn't that the larger Truth that the Trinity is whispering to us?  In other words, maybe the "doctrine of the Trinity" is the Divine's way of whispering to us about a piece of herself or himself or whatever that is much bigger than the actual doctrine itself.

Because.

GOD THE FATHER is this massive idea that points to something way, way BEYOND ourselves.  Right?  God the Father is way OUT THERE.  God the Father is the CREATOR.  God the Father holds all the POWER.  God the Father is big and massive and somewhat evasive.  He's hard to get a grasp on, hard to understand, hard to wrap our minds around.

GOD THE SON, though ... Jesus is more PERSONAL.  Right?  He's Immanuel.  He's God with us.  He's God right next to me.  He's God with skin on.  He takes this massive and elusive idea and shows me that as big and distant as God the Father seems, he's actually right next to me - right here, right now.

And then GOD THE SPIRIT ... the Spirit reminds me that God is IN ME.  God isn't just way beyond me like the Father and he's not just right next to me like the Son, BUT ... he's right inside of me - present in my moves, present in my breath, present in the very beat of my heart.

And so rather than the Trinity being a doctrine that humanity made to explain God, maybe it's an idea that the Divine planted within the mind of humanity to teach us a small (but so important) bit about himself or herself.

Right?

Instead of it being a doctrine I need to sign on to in order to be a Christian and go to heaven when I die, perhaps it's really just a (lower case) idea that is pointing to an (upper case) Idea that is much bigger than itself - the beautiful reality that God is the size of the universe and yet small enough to not just be next to me, but within me.

OR.

Like I said to Jordan, "God or heaven or love ... is all around you and within you so much so that no matter where you go or where life takes you ... you are never, ever alone."

Yes.

I think the Trinity is reminding us ...

That we aren't alone. 

That no matter how massive life feels and no matter how confused and out of touch we feel with the Divine, the Trinity is a much needed reminder that the Divine is right next to us and right inside of us. 

That the Divine enters us through our inhale and invades the world around us through our exhale. 

That like Jesus said, "I and the Father are One".

That we are so connected to God and so close to God and so inseparable from God that we are (literally) ONE with God. 

Yes.

Like I said earlier, there was never a time (I don't think) that we were ever NOT one with God and the idea of the Trinity is just one of many, many ways that God reminds us of that Truth. 

I hope that encourages you today.

Much love, my friends.

Glenn Siepert