Time Stood Still
Friends.
Last week I dropped Jordan off at school like I do every morning. We get there around 7:08 (on a day when we get out of the house smoothly, HA!), the teachers come out at 7:10, and the car line begins to move as they open each and every door to greet all the children with big smiles and welcomes.
As happens every morning …
Our car inched up.
I brought it to a stop.
I told Jordan to have a super fun day.
I told her I couldn’t wait to see her later.
I said I love you.
She said I love you too.
The teacher opened the door.
They smiled at each other.
The teacher shut the door.
But then.
This time.
… As I pulled away, I looked back and Jordan was standing at the sidewalk staring at me with a big smile on her face, waving goodbye.
And.
I don’t know.
But for that moment time stood still and I felt more connected to her than I ever have before. It’s hard to describe, but for that split second it felt like I was her and she was me … as if we were one in the same, so much so that I couldn’t really tell where “I” ended and “she” began.
Was I driving the car with her still in the back?
OR.
Was I standing on the sidewalk with her by my side?
Even though the car was pulling away, I felt so connected to her … I felt like I was still with her and like she was still with me, like I was with her on the sidewalk all the while she was with me in the car.
Does that make sense? Not really, I know; but the hair on my arms stood up, my eyes welled with tears, and I found myself feeling so incredibly grateful that I get to be her dad.
Yes, clearly something was happening even if I didn’t know (and am still quite unsure of!) what.
And then a few days later I was reading a book called “Sage Warrior” by Valarie Kaur and I came across these words that began to put words on what I was experiencing in the school drop off line …
The seemingly ordinary moments of wonder - when you are arrested by the sunset or swell of music or your child's face, and the line between you and everything blurs - are not throwaway moments. They are not incidental. They are actually portals into the sacred nature of things. They are tastes of truth that we are part of everything, everywhere. We can look at anyone or anything around us and say, "you are a part of me I do not yet know." We can let ourselves feel connected with all things, all the way up to the stars. You may awaken in big dramatic ways, but it won't hold unless you embrace waking in small ways, again and again.
Indeed, something happened in the school drop off line that morning - it was not ordinary, it was not a throwaway moment.
Not at all.
What I was experiencing was a “portal into the sacred nature of all things”, a “taste of truth” that I am a part of “everything, everywhere”. I think that maybe God or Jesus or the Divine or whatever was whispering to me that my own daughter is “a part of me that I do not yet (fully) know”.
And that make sense, doesn’t it?
Kind of?
To a parent, anyways?
Because a few days before all of this happened I was putting Jordan to bed one night and we were talking like we always do as she got sleepier and sleepier and I told her, “You know, it’s funny. I’ve been through a lot of school in my life - 4 years of college, 8 years of seminary - but I’ve never learned more about myself than I’ve learned from you. YOU continue to teach me more about myself than any teacher, any book, or any class I’ve ever taken. I don’t know how you do it, but you do.”
Yes.
The more I get to know Jordan, the more I get to know myself.
Why?
Because we are connected - The Christ in her (as I mentioned last week) and The Christ in me are one in the same, making US one in the same.
There is no HER.
There is no ME.
There is just US - we are deeply and forever connected; and so when I learn more about her and discover more of her personality and likes and dislikes and all the things that make Jordan, Jordan … I discover more and more of myself.
BUT.
Here’s the thing, I believe: that doesn’t just go for me and my daughter; it goes (I believe) for all of us - we are all connected by “The Christ” within us.
You.
Me.
The Starbucks Barista.
The UPS guy.
The woman who cut me off (and flipped me off!) the other day.
And, yes.
Even.
Donald Trump / Kamala Harris / (*insert name of politician you can’t stand here).
… We’re all connected.
And once we see that, once we awaken to that?
Well.
I think it makes it hard (like, really hard) to “hate” someone, to “judge” someone, to “shame” someone, to “wish harm” on someone, to want to “defeat” someone.
Why?
Because if we’re all connected, then …
What I do to another, I do to myself.
What I do to you, I do to me.
What I say about Trump/Harris, I say about myself.
AND.
I do/say about the God who (again, I believe) lives within us all, connecting us all like glue.
For me, this is the solution to all the problems in the world, no? As I mentioned last week (what I’m about to say won’t make sense if you didn’t read it), I think we’ve all forgotten who we are.
We’ve forgotten the One we’ve been soaked in.
We’ve forgotten the One whose image we’ve been made in.
We’ve forgotten the Divine Spark of love that is burning within us.
We’ve forgotten that we are (little) Christs.
And so.
What if we all woke up?
What if we all looked to Jesus or some other great teacher?
What if their words and actions and the stories told about them reminded us?
Reminded us that we are love?
Reminded us that we are made up of God?
Reminded us that we are dripping in the love and grace and compassion of God?
Reminded us that we are here to drip that God-stuff onto everyone else?
What if THE Christ in these great teachers reminded us that we are A Christ … and what if that had the power to change how we treat each other, how we treat ourselves, how we treat the world - what if it had the power to change EVERYTHING?
Yes.
What if we were all saved from our forgetfulness?
What if we ALL WOKE UP and lived from this place, remembering how deeply and forever connected we are?
Hm.
What if? What might change? What might be different? Better? More as it should be?
May it be so.
Glenn || PATREON / ART STUDIO